This afternoon after work, I went outside to check on my vegetable garden. Things are really looking good out there — the spinach is thriving and my tomato plants are getting stronger and taller every day. I even have some tiny tomatoes starting on a few plants. My neighbor had some extra plants he couldn’t fit in his garden, so he gave them to me — I got about 15 plants from him, so I might have 20 tomato plants right now. I love tomatoes, but my husband hates them. At some point this summer, I am going to be feeding the entire neighborhood with tomatoes. Maybe I’ll be able to use them as a form of currency — I’ll give you this bushel of perfect tomatoes and you give me 5 cucumbers. It could work! And I can’t grow good cucumbers, so this would be a good deal for me.
So I water my potted flowering plants in the garden and on my back patio — they’re doing good too, they’re loving this heat. Then I notice that some animal has picked through my radishes AGAIN — cutting off the entire top of the plant, but leaving the greens on the ground. So now I have a leftover radish trying to grow in the soil without its top greens, which are now wilting on the ground next to my plants. Hey, if you’re hungry, by all means, stop by my garden and have a snack, but don’t leave what you’ve plucked to die! This is not an all-you-can-eat-buffet!
So I got out my cayenne pepper spice jar, and I shook it all over the radishes, on the soil and on their leafy greens. And then because I was annoyed, I emptied more of the spice jar over my bed of wildflower seeds, because I just planted more sunflower seeds last week and they are just starting to poke through the soil, and I don’t want someone to eat those too! And you could tell I was angry too, shaking a kitchen spice over the dirt in my backyard garden. My neighbors must think I’m crazy…
And then because I was annoyed, I took a watering can filled with water and I poured the entire can over my pollen-encrusted car, so those neighbors in the front of my house can see how crazy I am too. This is an all-time low.
Notes from a Self Quarantine 