How does this always happen?? The yoga studio I’ve been going to for 7 years is hosting a 6-week workshop. It’s based on a 40-day program created by a famous yoga instructor. It was advertised that every day students would have to do a yoga practice, a meditation and journal — all on your own, they’d send you links to yoga and meditation practices. And then once a week you’d attend a Zoom meeting check in with everyone in the program. Oh, and read the famous yoga instructor’s book.
That doesn’t sound too bad — I read everyday or at least I try to. I figured I could purchase the book and skim the parts I needed. And I already do daily journaling. I’ve wanted to start a daily yoga practice — at the beginning of this pandemic I was doing yoga every morning, but then I was craving cardio, so I’ve been focusing more on HIIT and strength training the past couple of months. I could really benefit from a daily yoga practice. And you only have to do it 6 times a week (which means I could probably just cheat and do 4 and no one would know…).
Now, the daily meditation? I will struggle with that. I’ve tried to start a meditation practice in the past and even once downloaded a meditation app, an app that I don’t think I have used in 4 years…so the meditation part will definitely be hard for me. But maybe this program will force me to actually do it instead of just complaining that I’m not meditating…
So I went back and forth for the past few weeks trying to make a decision — would I sign up for this course? It’s only 40 days, I could do that. But that’s 40 actual days that I have to do multiple things EVERY day, and I am working full-time over here! But think about how good for me this could be. Or I could just feel like a total failure on day 3 and scrap the whole thing. I mean I already did mention that I could cheat on the amount of yoga I could do in a week and no one would know that I didn’t do 6 days. I’m already planning my escape from a program I haven’t even signed up for or started yet!
I spent the majority of this week convincing myself that I just didn’t have enough free time in my life right now to sign up for this program. I thought it was a done deal, I would skip it this time. Until the end of my work shift today, when I signed up for the 40 day program.
I was happy with my choice until I got two e-mails from the instructor — the first welcoming me to the program and outlining a few details — there’s a private Facebook group that I need to sign up for (great, another thing to check everyday!). And it’s actually two meditations everyday, not just one (ugh) and it’s a journaling exercise, not just writing in my journal like I do everyday anyway. So do I need to get a separate journal now??
The second e-mail detailed our assignments to complete before the first Zoom meeting, which is this Monday evening. I now have homework, yes, homework! I am 43-years-old and I have a homework assignment that I have to complete this weekend. I have to read 3 or maybe it’s 4 sections in that book I thought I would just skim. Thank goodness I actually bought the book beforehand and didn’t leave it until the last minute! I usually do that.
My husband thinks this is just hysterical, the fact that I have homework assignments and tasks that I need to complete each day. He’s already taking bets on how many of these tasks I will actually complete. He knows me really well.
I’m thinking that maybe I should skip going out for Friday night dinner tonight. I have homework to do!
Notes from a Self Quarantine 