Here’s an actual conversation with my husband from earlier today:
Husband: I think I’m going to clean the lines on the kegerator this afternoon.
(He means the hoses that pump beer from the actual keg in the little fridge into the spout where you pour the beer. You’ll need this information for later.)
Me: Please don’t do that right now. I haven’t emptied the dishwasher yet and there’s dirty dishes all over the counter and in the sink. You won’t have any room to clean anything up if something goes wrong. And I’m supposed to be working right now.
Husband: What could possible go wrong?
So I went back into my office — I answer an information phone line on Thursday afternoons, if it rings, I need to answer it. I should have locked my office door. And turned my internet radio up really, really loud.
It was pretty quiet out in the kitchen for awhile, which is never a good sign, but then I heard him calling my name.
Husband: You’re going to be mad. Where’s the mop?
I should’ve just stayed in my home office, but of course I went out into the kitchen. And there was a large puddle of beer on my beautiful hardwood floors. And my husband was using two old bath towels to clean it up.
Husband: You missed it, it was almost like a keg stand.
Sigh. I really wished I’d emptied the kitchen sink earlier in the day. I grabbed a wad of paper towels, some surface cleaner and helped him wipe up the mess. There was no way I was letting him push spilled beer around the kitchen floor with a mop, I’d probably find sticky spots for weeks.
I left him in the kitchen with his disconnected kegerator, I think he was wiping beer off the walls. I’ll just finish my work shift and try not to think about the mess. It will still be waiting for me when I am done with work. I can wash the floor and the rugs then. And the walls. And empty the dishwasher and reload it with all those dirty dishes. I have plenty of time to do all of these things after work. Too bad our house cleaner came yesterday, instead of tomorrow…
Notes from a Self Quarantine 